not special
Adrian Mora 2003 (New York)
not special
i can’t say for sure
what my vision was like before
all i know
is that i eventually started
to look through a kaleidoscope
doesn’t that sound dope?
if only i’d realized
the pain that lies
within those shifting shapes
if only i’d known
about all the happiness that could go
down that abyss of colorful designs
i try to color outside the lines
i hope to reshape people’s minds
but there’s just no magic to find
i attempt going against the current
i dream of my existence being a bigot’s deterrent
but instead of being broken down, the walls stand tall
and any change i bring is inadvertent
it just doesn’t make headlines anymore
someone who looks like me wearing pants
and no matter how hard i try
there will always be the chance
that my likeness
will be misconstrued
just feeding the fire
of my internal, never ending feud
begging me to just pick:
chick or dude?
other hearts
that beat in a similar rhythm to mine
make incredible melodies
while i’m
an off-key screeching
more nails on a chalkboard
than a pleasant tune
or just no sound at all
because i’m not who they thought of
when they first gave meaning to June
bask in my glow
if it can even be called that
don’t you know
how dim my light goes?
i’m no supergiant
or even a Blue Dwarf
if only i could morph
into a form where it didn’t have to be the norm
for me to extravagantly gleam
in reality, i barely do it now
i have no sheen
i don’t shimmer
or twinkle
barely even shine
if you were to give me a price
i’d merit less than a dime
i want to believe it’ll get better with time
but my future
just doesn’t look
very divine.
About this poem
This is a poem I wrote about my experience as a nonbinary person assigned female at birth, and how I feel inferior and dull compared to other trans people.
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Written on September 24, 2021
Submitted by adrianmora1213 on April 14, 2022
Modified on March 18, 2023
- 1:53 min read
- 2 Views
Quick analysis:
Scheme | X A B C D D X X X X B E E X X F F G F A X X X X H I H X H J X X C K G X K B X B X F L L X X X X I J X M M I X |
---|---|
Closest metre | Iambic tetrameter |
Characters | 1,690 |
Words | 377 |
Stanzas | 55 |
Stanza Lengths | 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 |
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"not special" Poetry.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 10 Jun 2024. <https://www.poetry.com/poem/126503/not-special>.
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